Booby Trapped

To start, let me tell you that my child is now over 2, and, yes. We're still breastfeeding. It's my fault. I was so thrilled that I could lull her to sleep with my boobies, that it never occurred to me until it was too late (and I had time to read parenting books) that I was conditioning her to need to breastfeed to fall asleep. So now she either falls asleep on the nip, or in the car. And with the price of gas being what it is, the nips are cheaper.
I've read many many books on parenting and how to get kids to sleep. The No-Cry Sleep Solution (and  the one for Toddlers,) The Baby Whisperer (and the one for Toddlers,) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Nighttime Parenting, to name a few.
But it was too little, too late by the time I found these books. The No-Cry books have some great tips, that have helped me to escape once she's asleep (I used to have to lay there with her for 2 hours during each nap. Every day. No lie.) And she's getting better, and can occasionally roll off of me and fall asleep after nursing, rather than during, which is a huge step for us. And this is just from me haphazardly applying some of the tips occasionally, not a regular planned schedule that I stick to.

So if I had to recommend just 1 book, it would be the No-Cry book(s) for your child's age. Next best is the Baby Whisperer books, but she advocates having them sleep alone, and we chose to co-sleep, so a lot of her ideas and tricks are either harder to do or ineffectual. The Healthy Sleep one is only good if you are a fan of Cry-It-Out (CIO.) I'm not. I couldn't even finish the book. It made me miserable to read it. And Nighttime Parenting was useless, as it advocates nursing on demand and co-sleeping, which we were already doing. Thanks for nothin'!
My issue is that as she's gotten older, the boobies aren't as effective at helping her sleep, and she doesn't know how to sleep without them. So I either lay there for hours (literally) until she finally drops from exhaustion, or we get frustrated with each other and then Daddy takes her for a ride in the car.
So, to avoid this problem (caused by "accidental parenting" which is a phrase I like from the Baby Whisperer,) nurse (or bottle feed. I'm not a breast nazi) them to groggy, then lay them down to sleep (in your bed*, their bassinet, crib, whatever.) And let them fall asleep on their own. If baby cries, pick her up until she stops, then set her back down. You may have to do this multiple times. I've heard of having to do it hundreds of times. But trust me - it sure beats having a 2-year-old with her hands down your shirt at the Post Office saying "Nice boobies Mommy! Can I drink them?"

*If you want to co-sleep, there are good resources, such as the Sleeping With Your Baby book that we read, to help you do it safely. Don't rely solely on advice from me, since I may not mention key safety issues and solutions, or all the risk factors. I'm not an expert.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you choose to breastfeed until your child goes off to college, that's your choice, and I fully support your right to make that decision. This advice is just for those who don't want to get suckered into it, like I did.

Another common mistake is to assume every cry means "hungry." I know that at the time, I was surprised at how she always wanted to eat. In hindsight, I was probably one of those poor shlubs who used the breast to soothe, even when baby wasn't hungry. So she never learned to self-soothe. Doh! We're working on it, but there aren't a lot of resources for un-training toddlers. And the advice there is seems either too hard to do logistically (every time she sits up, lay her back down. Seriously? YOU try picking up my squirmy-wormy when she wants nothing to do with lying down.) or ineffectual (describe a beach and the waves and how relaxed she is? After trying that twice, now if I start with "You're on a sandy beach..." she starts screaming "No! NONONO!" Not very relaxing! She's on to me. She knows what I'm trying to do and is not interested!)
So unless you know a feeding is due, try the boobs last. Yes, she might be rooting. Yes, she might be making hungry mouth motions. But she might also have learned that that gets her the comfort of the boob, as well as food. So if baby doesn't have her heart in it, pop her off and give her comfort in some other way. Or some other fun activity. Around here, it has gotten so ridiculous, I call them "comfort boobies" and "Teddy Boob." She started needing to knead and pinch and twiddle my other nip whenever she breastfed. That went on for over a year. Over. A. Year. So start now. Let her find comfort elsewhere.

But if you have a Spirited or Highly Sensitive child [same thing, really. Just different terms by different authors,] like mine, the journey might be a little harder. Armies to the boobyfield! Nipple shields up! Don't fire until you see the whites of their teeth! The battle has just begun.